Dear Ask Ashlee,
My friend and I got into a heated debate a few weeks ago. We haven’t really spoken to each other since then, and I know that part of the reason is because I allowed my anger to cross a line and I referenced her children in the argument. There is no rhyme or reason as to why I said what I said, even if it is true, but I don’t know how to begin the conversation for us to reconcile with one another. I feel guilty about it and I’m hoping it’s not too late.
Ms. Very Apologetic
Dear Ms. Very Apologetic,
So here's the thing, mistakes happen when we lack self control, that's just the reality of it. I would suggest reaching out and simply apologizing for the comment altogether. I can’t say this will fix the relationship, but it will start the dialogue and give you the chance you're looking for. Don’t be surprised if the friendship doesn’t immediately pick up where it left off. Forgiveness doesn't always mean reconciliation. I would give her some time to process the conversation and the apology and move from there. In the meantime, practice mindfulness and self-forgiveness. Even if she never forgives, you will want to take a moment to forgive yourself and ensure this line is never crossed again. I hope this helps.
Love & Light,