Ask Ashlee: Why Is My Man Hoarding Pictures of Him & His Ex?
Dear Ask Ashlee,
A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I moved in together and while I was helping him back his place up, I found a bunch of old pictures of him and his ex-girlfriend. They’ve been broken up for 4 years and it doesn’t make sense to me why he would still have them. I asked him about it and he told me that he just never got around to throwing them away but that he would. Last night, I was unpacking the rest of our boxes, and he still hasn’t thrown them away. Now I can’t help but think that he is holding onto them for a reason. I know she meant a lot to him, he told me that he had planned to propose right before they broke up, so she did or does have some kind of significance to him. Would it be wrong if I just went ahead and threw them away myself? I am trying not to make this a big deal, but it does bother me that after all this time, he can’t seem to part ways with these memories.
Dear Slightly Annoyed,
So here’s the thing, your feelings regarding these pictures are absolutely valid! I wouldn’t throw them away though, this is something he has to do, and something he wants to do. You know your man better than me, you know if he is forgetful, or easily distracted by small things, which really could have taken his mind off such a tiny task. If he is neither of these things, that he is holding onto their memory for a reason and that needs to be addressed immediately. You two just moved in together and this is not something you want to hold inside and allow it to build up. Put your big girl panties on and have a real conversation with him, as you do this, be open minded and open hearted to what he has to say. You can do this and still tell him how you feel, so you two can come up with a solution that will hopefully bring you two closer together. Sometimes in relationships men and women can become very possessive and forget that a solid foundation starts with a friendship. Be his woman, and his friend, let him know he can be completely honest with you and in turn you will be completely honest with him. I hope this helps!
Love & Light,