Dear Ask Ashlee,
I am in a very happy relationship with my man of 5 years and I can count on one hand in those 5 years how many times we have argued or had big differences. Three months ago, I received a promotion at my job and it seems like WWIII started in our household! We started arguing about the smallest things, and he continues to mention the fact that I make more money than he does and insinuates that I somehow feel like the roles have changed because I am now the bread winner. I love this man, I don’t want to lose him but I don’t know what to do about his lack of confidence due to my increase in finances. I know this is a dumb question, but should I consider finding something else?
Ms. Money Maker I Guess
Dear Ms. Money Maker,
So here’s the thing, girl congratulations! Let’s start there! I know you’ve heard the saying, don’t ever make yourself small for the convenience of another, if you haven’t, you have now. Your promotion shouldn’t be celebrated with second guesses due to insecurities and egos. Your man’s inability to set his aside is indeed the problem here. My suggestion would only be to continue being yourself and being the woman he has loved for 5 years without a ton of
arguments. Support him through this moment by reassuring him that even though you make
more than he does right now, it doesn’t take from the man he is, nor do you see him in a lesser light. As his woman, you may have to stroke his bruised ego a little bit and help him see the error in his ways. It’s important for you to know his love language at this moment and give him what’s needed. Now, I say this with love, but if he refuses the love, support and understanding you are trying to give him and continues to make this a bigger problem than it really is, you may need to look at the bigger picture yourself. Do you want to be in a relationship with a man that prefers you stay small in order for you two to be happy? I hope this helps!
Love & Light,