Dear Ask Ashlee,
It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a relationship with anyone. My fiancé died three years ago and I haven’t been in a mental head space to want to try with anyone else. I still spend a lot of time with his family and when I think about the life we shared and planned on having together I just can’t imagine going outside of what I know. Recently, I find myself and my brother in law (or what would’ve been my brother in law) spending a lot of time together and it’s been really nice having him close to me. We haven’t done anything sexual together but I do find myself thinking about it often. I feel like it’s a betrayal on my fiancé and another part of me feels like I deserve to be happy, right?
Ms Asking for Myself
Dear Ms Asking for Myself,
So here’s the thing, of course you deserve to be happy! Whatever that happiness looks like for you is what matters most. You deserve love, happiness and joy! You have to make choices for yourself and not rely on the ideas of other people. There are some cultures in other parts of the world where it is the brothers duty to take the hand of his brother's wife should something happen to him. Don’t get so caught up in what you believe things are “supposed” to be like. Do you know if he has the same feelings? If so, have a discussion and see what comes of it. If he doesn’t, give yourself grace and embrace the moment of feeling something again. I strongly recommend praying over the situation and processing your feelings before doing anything. Discover if this is something more you are feeling or if you miss your fiancé so much that you are getting confused by the connection. I hope this helps and I am so sorry for your loss.
Love &Light,
Ashlee
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