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Ask Ashlee: I'm Committed To Her But I'm Not Ready To Put A Ring On It

Dear Ask Ashlee,

I’m a 26 yr old young man that has been in a relationship with my girl for 4 years. She is smart, funny, has a lot going for herself and really is my best friend. My family loves her, the fellas? Not so much, but that's only because they feel like she is changing me. The truth is, she is, but it is for my good. I have learned so much from her and I want to make her happy. The issue is, marriage keeps being brought up from her and her family, and I know I want to marry her someday, I just don’t think I am ready to marry her today. There is so much more I want to do with my life and I feel like if I become a married man, that will stop me from doing so. It’s not about me wanting to be with other women, it’s just about me making such a huge commitment like that and I don’t want to fail. I’m afraid if I don’t ask her soon, I will lose her.

Mr. Committed But Not Ready

Dear Mr. Mr. Committed But Not Ready,

So here’s the thing, don’t ever force yourself into something that you are not ready for. You have to be honest with yourself about whether or not this is you just being scared or if this is simply you not being ready to be a husband. If you are not ready, that’s ok, but you can’t stand in her way while you try to figure things out. If she is your best friend as you mentioned, I would block out the opinions of everyone else, and have a very real conversation with her about where you are and how you feel about everything. Who knows, she could be just as nervous about the idea of marriage as you are and you two can create what your goals together will look like and how you two can work towards them together. However, if she is ready for marriage, and you are not, love her enough to let her go. If it’s God’s will for her to be your wife, time and space will allow you to grow into who she deserves and vice versa. I hope this helps!

Love & Light,


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