Dear Ask Ashlee,
I’m caught in between two good men and I really don’t know what to do. My ex and I have been talking more often lately about how things went down in our relationship and some of the mistakes we made and have learned from. There is another man I have been dating “Greg” who seems to have a really great heart, but deals with really bad anxiety and depression. I understand Greg’s ailment as I have dealt with the same issues, but not to the extent of wanting to commit suicide. Greg has shared these inner thoughts with me and I have tried being there for him as best as I can. The more we have spent time together, the more I realize two things. First, I love him, but as a friend and I care for him a lot. Second, I miss the hell out of my ex and I really want to go back home. My fear is what this heartbreak will do to Greg and if he can handle it. What if, God forbid, he can’t handle the lose and commits suicide on my account?
Ms. Rock In A Hard Place
Dear Ms. Rock In A Hard Place,
So here’s the thing, you have to consider yourself and your mental capacity to deal with Greg’s mental instability. Be honest with him out of respect for the situation at hand and then remove yourself. If you stay in Greg’s life it could get confusing later on down the line and if you have no intentions with him in the manner in which he does for you, then you leave room for false hope and that is not fair to him. In this case, walking away is going to be the best thing for you both. Pray for him along the way but don’t punish yourself by taking responsibility for Greg’s current mental health crisis.
In the process, take things very slow with your ex. Find out what your intentions are with each other and take the time to right all your wrongs in your previous relationship with each other. Address each and every issue you two had and move forward. I caution you not to just jump back in where you left off. People change so I am not saying rekindling your love is not impossible, but this time around make it a new love and more of a solid foundation of friendship first. I hope this helps.
Love & Light,