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Ask Ashlee: Should I Move In With Him?

Dear Ask Ashlee,

I started dating someone I had an instantaneous connection with about a year ago. We are so compatible and our communication is always on point. We are always accessible to each other, we make time for one another, we make each other laugh and have established a very healthy friendship within the process. To be quite honest, this is probably the healthiest relationship I have ever been in. If you are wondering if I am in love, the answer is yes, and I do believe him when he says that he is also in love with me.

Now a year later, he has asked me to move in with him. I want to. I really want to, but he lives in a different city about 3 hours north of me. Relocating to be with him wouldn’t affect my work or anything like that, because I work from home, but the idea of picking up my entire life just terrifies me. In my heart, I am ready to take the big plunge and pack up and go. In my mind, I am thinking I would be a complete fool to uproot my life over a man. He has a son, and I would never want to take him away from his child, so the idea of him coming to me instead is out.

I would love some insight. Maybe I am just talking myself out of it, maybe not. Thoughts?


Dear Anonymous,

So here’s the thing; love is risky business, believe it or not. I want you to realize this. The reality is only you will know whether or not the risk is worth taking for you. There are so many wins and losses that can happen if you choose to make this move. Some wins could be life altering and some of the losses could be life shattering.

Consider this: whatever is it you want to be able to do with your life, whether you’re in a relationship or not, is this something that can be achieved in that city? If yes, then this move can be beneficial for you alone. Your boyfriend being in the city is just an added benefit.

If things work out great, you have taken that risk on love and it worked in your favor. If it doesn’t work out, it will hurt just like any break up in your life, but you won’t be in that city because of him and you will have a life to live outside of him that you will create once you get there.

Love is risky, and life is about taking chances. Anytime you take a chance on something, it has the potential to work in your favor, hold on to that reality versus the one that has you living in fear.

I hope this helps.

Love & Light,


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